When we picture struggling from an addiction or even going to rehab, you often imagine someone arriving at a rehab centre alone with their suitcase in hand, very nervous and unsure what comes next. However, this simply is not always the case,
When individuals struggle from an addiction, they often do not struggle alone. Sometimes, this means that loved ones and friends also become addicted.
In fact, many people who suffer from addiction live in a household where their partner or loved one is also suffering from some form of addiction.
So, what happens when both partners are caught in the same struggle when it comes to addiction? The answer is couples therapy and couples’ rehab, where people are able to recover together.
It is also important to understand that addiction doesn’t just affect the person suffering directly from it. In fact, addiction weaves itself through relationships, changes people’s behaviour, communication and trust in one another [1].
When it comes to many long term relationships who both suffer from addiction issues, both individuals know something needs to change.
However, the road to recovery can feel daunting especially when you are also relying on each other to stay sober. People might wonder whether or not both partners attend rehab together and what might be best for the relationship.
For many couples, addiction is not just an isolated issue. Instead, it’s a shared experience. Maybe both partners drink heavily, or perhaps one person abuses and the other enables the addiction, simply without meaning to.
Whatever the citation, the unhealthy patterns in a relationship unfortunately sustain the addiction just as much as the substance does.
Attending rehab together might be a good idea. Below are just some of the reasons why this might be the best case for you if you and your loved one are both suffering from addiction together [1].
When both people in a relationship are struggling with substance abuse, attending rehab treatment together can help to break the cycle together.
Rather than one partner returning home to the same routines that triggered them, the couple learns better and healthier ways to interact with each other and with other loved ones. For a lot of people, this is simply the only way that they will be able to recover.
Attending drug and alcohol rehab is not just about attending a detox and then therapy sessions. Attending rehab is also about building new communication patterns.
Many couples who attend drug and alcohol rehab together learn to express their emotions more clearly, without blaming each other or interrupting each other.
Likewise, couples who attend drug and alcohol rehab together are better able to acknowledge their triggers and avoid arguments.
Couples therapy can be transformative for many couples, and far more effective when both people in the relationship are practising their new skills in real time, together as a couple.
Unfortunately, addiction can break trust. This is not only trust with each other, but with other loved ones too.
This is due to the number of lies told, the number of excuses made, and the financial strain and emotional distance that addiction causes. These are all common after bad experiences with drugs or alcohol.
Attending drug and alcohol rehab together allows both partners to acknowledge their past hurts and take positive steps toward rebuilding that trust together.
Recovery is never easy. Unfortunately, addiction often means that there are numerous different setbacks, cravings and moments of doubt and heartbreak for months and even sometimes years. Having a partner who is going through the same addiction journey as you can be a source of strength.
In fact, numerous studies have now shown that social support from partners and loved ones plays an incredibly important and crucial role in reducing the risk of a relapse later down the line.
This is especially the case when that support comes from someone who truly understands what you are facing, such as your partner.
Sometimes, you might need to attend rehab alone. This is a surprisingly common situation but can be incredibly hard for you and your loved ones, especially if you are co-dependant on one another.
This might be the case if one partner’s addiction is more severe than the other or perhaps one person recognises that they need to attend rehab sooner than the other.
In other cases, only one person meets the criteria for residential treatment, while the other wants to stay home to work or care for children, or even alternatively attend a home detox for their addiction issues.
Either way, it’s incredibly important to support your loved ones and feel involved in the process. So, how does that work in practice?
Many drug and alcohol rehab centres in the UK offer family therapy or couples counselling alongside individual treatment. This allows the partner at home to participate in important therapy sessions, either by visiting during treatments or joining remotely via video or phone calls.
Attending therapy sessions together can improve understanding of addiction and recovery dynamics, resolve conflicts that make the addiction worse and can even create a shared recovery plan for then the individual leaves rehab.
In other words, even if both partners are not living at the rehab clinic full time, they can still work together.
Some rehab centres invite loved ones for visiting days where they participate in what is called joint therapy, which might include things such as educational workshops and communication exercises.
These sessions are not just just visiting or catching up. They are about learning and growing together as a couple whilst recovering.
This can be especially helpful if the couple plans to return home to the same environment once they leave rehab and wants to ensure a smoother transition with each other as they enter this new phase of their life.
You might be wondering exactly what happens in couples’ rehab and the answer is not straight forward. For example, each rehab centre might offer different types of therapy, depending on the type of addiction the couple is suffering from and what they would benefit from.
Couples rehab strikes a careful balance between individual recovery and shared healing. Below is a list of just some of the things that rehab centres tend to offer couples during couples therapy [2].
People who attend couples therapy in rehab are evaluated individually. This includes things such as their addiction history, including what substances they are addicted to, their mental health status, their physical health and their treatment goals.
This helps doctors and other healthcare professionals to design a programme that meets each person’s unique recovery needs
If either partner is physically and medically dependent on addictive substances, a medically supported detox will be the first step that they need to take in order to recover from their addiction issues.
A medical detox is done safely and under 24/7 medical supervision, with medication being prescribed.
Detox is notoriously challenging, both physically and psychologically. Having a partner nearby can make it feel less overwhelming.
Both partners who attend couples therapy have one to one therapy sessions with trained professionals, by themselves.
This allows the space that people need to unpack trauma and negative experiences, triggers and goals without the pressure of speaking in front of a partner.
One to one, individual therapy allows people the chance to be vulnerable in a safe setting.
Once individual issues are being addressed via individual therapy, people will then be offered couples therapy which then focuses on the relationship issues that are worsening the addiction issues.
A trained drug and alcohol recovery therapist guides the couple through communication exercises, conflict resolution skills, and ways to better understand each other’s triggers and a chance to form healthier habits and patterns.
Group therapy with other sufferers can be a powerful tool. Couples who attend group therapy often find it reaffirming to share experiences with others who truly understand what they are going through.
These group settings might cover topics such as education about addiction, relapse prevention, emotional regulation and how to better support one another.
Rehab is not just about therapy. Many programmes include workshops on nutrition and the right diet to aid recovery, mindfulness and stress management, financial planning and how to support your loved one through recovery.
These sessions help couples to rebuild practical life skills alongside emotional wellness.
Leaving drug and alcohol rehab does not mean that the work is finished. In fact, attending drug and alcohol rehab is only just the beginning.
Couples rehab programmes often include working on detailed and thorough aftercare plans, which might involve things such as continued therapy, attending local support groups, check in appointments, relapse prevention strategies and tips on how to utilise community support networks.
These aftercare plans and strategies help couples to transition from the structured environment of rehab into real life, where they might be exposed to triggers.
Addiction recovery is hard work. However, there are some definite advantages to tackling it as a couple. Below are just some of these advantages.
When both partners are committed to attending drug and alcohol rehab, they can keep each other grounded. This doesn’t mean nagging each other, it means mutual commitment and encouragement as well as gentle reminders of your goals and why you are there.
Returning home after drug and alcohol rehab with shared coping mechanisms for addiction triggers, and better communication styles means the home environment becomes a safer place to live together.
Going through rehab together aligns your goals, your routine and your expectations. When people attend couples therapy together, there’s less room for misunderstandings and certainly less room for people to make excuses.
Picking the right drug and alcohol rehab centre matters. Below are just some questions couples often ask professionals when seeking out the right rehab centre for them.
It is worth taking time to explore your different options and to speak with admissions teams at the rehab facility. Some rehab facilities might even let you have a tour of the place before being admitted, just to make sure that it is the right rehab facility for you.
When looking into the rehab facility, there are a few key tips that you might want to keep in mind.
For example, you should be honest about your goals as a couple, discuss your expectations ahead of attending the rehab facility and ask about aftercare support.
You also need to have a clear understanding about what financial support you might have in place, such as insurance and understand how the payment will be made.
Addiction recovery is a long journey, and recovery does not happen overnight. When couples choose to recover from their addiction together, it can sometimes lighten the load.
Whether both partners attend rehab together, or one partner participates in family therapy while the other undergoes treatment, it is important to remember that everyone wants the same thing.
If you are looking to recover from your addiction, then contact your local healthcare professional to speak to a member of the team at Rehab 4 Addiction.
[1] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10087549/
[2] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2851021/
Boris is our editor-in-chief at Rehab 4 Addiction. Boris is an addiction expert with more than 20 years in the field. His expertise covers a broad of topics relating to addiction, rehab and recovery. Boris is an addiction therapist and assists in the alcohol detox and rehab process. Boris has been featured on a variety of websites, including the BBC, Verywell Mind and Healthline. You can connect with Boris online at LinkedIn or X.com.
