Teen addiction is a serious problem which requires firm yet careful attention. Young people can seriously impact their physical and mental health if they begin abusing drugs or alcohol, but they are also at an age where they are primed to resist adult interference in their life.
As a result, approaching a teen about their unhealthy consumption habits needs to avoid a confrontational approach. This will only cause young people to close themselves off and retaliate, so a gentler, more conversational approach is required. But how is this achieved?
There are a number of things to bear in mind in order to effectively approach a teenager about their substance abuse.
They cater to the emotional vulnerability of the person in that situation, but they also touch on your own state of mind when entering the conversation.
First and foremost, you must make yourself aware that, regardless of what you say, the young person is likely to resist or refute your concerns. Substance use disorders are very difficult to live with, and most people who rely on substances are in denial of that fact [1].
In order to prevent yourself from becoming judgemental or frustrated during the conversation – which will undoubtedly force the teenager into greater retreat – you must prepare yourself for pushback.
With a realistic approach, you will be much more likely to keep your cool and retain the patient and structured approach outlined below. It may seem simple, but anticipating their defensive response can make all the difference.
Another thing to consider before beginning your discussion is what you want to gain by the end of it. Many can make the mistake of thinking they will convince their loved one to suddenly accept that they have an addiction, but this is often not possible.
Instead, set yourself a realistic goal. Perhaps you want them to just think about their consumption habits and consider if they are using as much as they really need to. Or, you may want them to research addiction and ask them to think about if they need help.
Not establishing one of these goals is likely to leave you feeling defeated by the end of the discussion. Addiction cannot be fixed with just a single conversation, so it is vital that you accept reasonable limits and set yourself a reachable objective.
The worst possible way to approach a discussion with a teen about their substance abuse is to make it loud and visible. Approaching the subject in front of others is certain to annoy and irritate them, and they will not even engage with you.
Instead, speak to them in a place and at a time when you can be alone. This way, they will not feel as though they are being spotlighted and judged by those around them.
By keeping things quiet, they will be more likely to see that you really do care about their well-being.
Many addicted individuals secretly feel ashamed of the behaviours they can’t control. In many cases, a genetic component exists with addiction [2], and those with a family history of abuse can be influenced by unconscious factors.
As a result, they will be much more willing to discuss their behaviour if they know that their words are going to be kept confidential. It instils trust, and this is vital to accepting and talking about substance misuse.
Trying to encourage a teen to open up about their drug or alcohol misuse, can help to be prepared with information about substance use disorders. If you know more about what they are experiencing, you can speak more accurately about their state of mind.
Do not aim to throw this information in your loved one’s face, but try to offer chunks here and there which illuminate their experience and help them understand what is happening to them.
The goal of this is to open the young person’s mind to what is happening to them and encourage them to want to know more. If they become more aware of how addiction corrupts the mind and body, they will be more likely to take positive action.
You can offer all of the love, support, and information you can, but that does not mean that a teen will accept that they are addicted and sign up for rehab. It is likely that they will still reject the idea of being reliant on drugs or alcohol, and that is perfectly okay.
To prepare for this outcome, it is vital that you establish consequences for a teen not seeing their situation for what it is. These are not punishments and should not be used as threats. Instead, they should be calmly outlined as a way to incentivise them to think again.
These negative consequences may include restricting social time with friends or introducing a curfew. With limitations set on their freedoms, young people will be more likely to reconsider their situation and comply with your recommendations.
In order to have a conversation about teen addiction, you must first be able to recognise when it has developed. This is no easy task, and it is especially more difficult to spot the already elusive condition of addiction in secretive, independence-seeking teens.
As hard as it can be, noticing the signs of addiction is pivotal. There are a number of key indicators to look out for, and it is often easier to notice them in combination.
Failing to maintain performance standards is a common sign with addicted individuals, but this can be slightly easier to spot in young people. Slipping school grades, for example, can be spotted, as can poor attendance or effort levels reported by teachers.
But this drop in effort can also be identified in the home. Household chores can be ignored, as can visits to extended family members or quality time with those within the household.
Addiction takes a huge physical toll, and those who consume drugs or drink alcohol can experience serious fluctuations in weight and health. A compromised immune system can degrade an abuser’s body, and this can often be very visible.
This impact on the body can then have a knock-on effect on the habits of an individual. Eating less is very common, as is sleeping less or at strange times. Insomnia is a common symptom of the body struggling to cope without a particular substance.
Using drugs or alcohol has very obvious implications for behaviour. The entire incentive for using them is to achieve a ‘high’ and this can be easily noticed. Slurred speech, disorientation, emotional instability, fluctuating energy levels – all of these can be signs.
With a teen, it can be easier as well to spot hangover symptoms. Since they will likely live with you, you can witness the after-effects of their substance use which they would try and hide if they lived alone.
Headaches, nausea, fatigue, irritability – all of these symptoms can arise, and they will likely trigger truancy as well. Not going to school on a regular basis is a huge sign to look out for!
It can also help to be on the lookout for withdrawal symptoms.
Children make friends, and if you are a parent or carer, you can begin to pick up on who a teen’s best friends are. As a result, you may also be able to notice when certain friends become replaced with those who are perhaps older or less responsible.
Peer pressure plays a massive role in substance use even in adults, and so a teen who begins socialising with a new crowd may become pressured into using addictive drugs or alcohol.
If a young person demonstrates some other warning signs of substance use disorder while having adopted new friends, there may be a dangerous link.
Just as it plays with the body’s chemical and immune systems, addiction manipulates the mind and our emotions. When we take drugs or alcohol, we experience intense bouts of joy and happiness. When we are sober, the emotional pendulum swings the opposite way.
Sudden shifts in mood across a duration of hours can be indicative of substance abuse. If a young person goes from being excitable and energetic to sombre and angry, their body may be dealing with the impacts of an addictive substance leaving its system.
Teenagers come to an age where they can look after their own money. Providing pocket money or an allowance is a part of teaching young people to grow up and think for themselves, but finances can provide insight into unhealthy behaviours.
If a teen spends a lot of money or mentions being in debt to people, they may be spending their money on substances. Spending a lot of money in one go, borrowing money, or begging for money can all point towards a lack of control which addiction triggers.
If you are a concerned parent, or you simply want to know more about how substance abuse affects young people, we have all the information you could want.
Check out some of our other blogs and articles to access more information about substance abuse, its symptoms, and how it is treated; or reach out to us on 0800 140 4690 and speak with a dedicated and friendly member of our team!
[1] http://pure-oai.bham.ac.uk/ws/files/25519189/DENIAL_PICKARD_M_L_FINAL_PRE_PROOF.pdf
[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2715956/
Boris is our editor-in-chief at Rehab 4 Addiction. Boris is an addiction expert with more than 20 years in the field. His expertise covers a broad of topics relating to addiction, rehab and recovery. Boris is an addiction therapist and assists in the alcohol detox and rehab process. Boris has been featured on a variety of websites, including the BBC, Verywell Mind and Healthline. You can connect with Boris online at LinkedIn or X.com.
