People sometimes think getting sober means losing your social life, becoming isolated or never having fun again, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Getting sober is a great achievement, but it does take some time to build new routines and relationships.
A recovery community can make this transition much easier. Peer support can offer that much needed connection with people who understand recovery, and create opportunities for meaningful and enjoyable activities that don’t just revolve around alcohol or drugs.
Find out how a recovery community can make social life fun again, how to build your support system, and where to find recovery-oriented networks.
When you’re in addiction, alcohol and drug use can become closely tied to social circles, celebrations and down time. When you become sober, you may need to avoid triggers and temptations, which can make your social life feel too risky.
Many social situations are built around drinking. Alcohol is the main event at pubs, nights out, parties, festivals, and meals. Going sober can leave you feeling unsure how to fit in with these situations.
Sometimes social circles can also become centred around drinking or drug use. You may need to let people know you’re sober, set boundaries, and in some cases, cut ties with people who hold you back.
This can leave you unsure what to do, where to go, and who to spend time with. That’s where recovery communities come in.
A recovery community is a supportive network for people in recovery to socialise with, open up to, and find mentors. It includes peer-support groups, mutual-aid meetings, recovery organisations, and wellbeing centres.
Recovery support services (RSS) and lived experience recovery organisations (LEROs) come in all shapes and sizes, so everyone can find something that aligns with their beliefs, values and preferences.[1]
Mutual aid and peer support includes:
Finding a space where you feel comfortable, and your values align with the group will help you to develop a sense of community and friends you feel connected with. Many people find trying a few different recovery communities helps to decide which one is the best fit.
A recovery community can give you the right environment, security and peace of mind you need to feel you can socialise sober without relapse. When you spend time with people who understand what you’re going through and support your sobriety, you can have fun without drugs or alcohol looming over you.
Having somewhere to go and people to socialise with where drinking or drug use isn’t the focus can help you unwind, open up, and have more fun than you could in a tricky environment full of triggers or temptations.
It’s vital in recovery that the people around you understand why you’re sober, and why it’s important that you stay in recovery. Sober friends can also help to normalise recovery, offer fewer triggers, and a greater emotional understanding than people who haven’t been on the same journey.
A recovery community can make introductions easier because people already have something significant in common. There’s less pressure to explain why you are not drinking or using, and conversations don’t necessarily revolve around alcohol or drugs.
Meeting people through these services also gives you scope to arrange get-togethers outside of meetings, so you can have all of the fun of an ordinary social gathering, knowing you’re with someone who encourages your recovery.
Socialising sober isn’t just about avoiding alcohol. To truly have fun, it’s important to build a new life that celebrates recovery. Instead of thinking ‘I can’t go to the pub anymore’, you can shift your mindset to ‘I can go to a cafe with my sober friends’.
There are a wide range of community centres and support groups that offer recovery events and sober activities, so whether you’re looking for a quick rant or a Saturday night sober rave, there’s something for everyone.
Exact activities available will vary between organisations and locations, and they’re always being updated, so check your nearest Turning Point to see what’s on the calendar, or search for recovery events on Eventbrite.
Recovery communities help to prevent loneliness and isolation, which are common addiction triggers. Social support and ongoing relapse prevention strategies can greatly increase your chances of feeling stronger in your recovery, and stopping a slip.
Research into recovery communities has shown that positive social interactions and recovery identity build ‘recovery capital’, and engagement with recovery-supportive communities can lead to better success in recovery.[2]
Social bonds and feeling connected to others can boost your mental health by offering hope, motivation, a positive identity, better social skills, and stronger coping mechanisms, so recovery communities are really important during and after you get sober.
Entering recovery doesn’t have to mean losing friendship, laughter, hobbies or social connection. A recovery community can fill that social void by offering bonds and outings, boost your mood as you move into recovery, and even prevent relapse.
Meaningful friendships usually develop gradually, so you don’t need to completely reinvent your social life overnight. Browsing sober events in your area or attending an online meeting are small steps towards building a fulfilling recovery community in your future.
If you’re looking for advice about recovery or referrals to top rehabs in your area, call Rehab 4 Addiction on 0800 140 4690, or +44 345 222 3508 from abroad.
Below, we answer some commonly held questions around this important topic:
Yes, many people lead busy social lives without drinking at all. It may take time to find new activities and routines if drinking used to be a big part of your leisure time and friendships, but it becomes much easier with time and practice.
No, AA is only one form of mutual aid. Peer support groups all have different focuses, approaches and beliefs. Check out SMART Recovery, your local community centre, Meet Up or Eventbrite to find sober events in your area.
If you feel a bit socially awkward, give it more time or bring a companion. If you feel the group’s focus doesn’t align with your goals, try a different meeting or format. SMART Recovery allows newcomers to observe rather than participate immediately, so you can ease yourself in.
[2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0277953617305944
