Giving up alcohol is a difficult challenge, so how can you support a loved one who’s quit drinking?
There are a number of reasons why your loved one may have reevaluated their relationship with alcohol.
For some, it can be challenges like Dry January or Sober October that cause your loved one to look at their drinking habits, for others it could be that they have an alcohol addiction or alcohol use disorder. [1]
They are not alone, with a report from national and local authorities in England estimating that there were 602,391 dependent drinkers in the year 2018-19. This number is thought to have increased slightly since the pandemic. [2]
No matter why your loved one has quit drinking, it’s important to be as supportive as possible to make their recovery that bit easier.
It’s important to show empathy and compassion with your loved one, however, you might not always know what they need.
Try having an open conversation with them to understand how it is best that you can be there for them. Let them lead the conversation and don’t push to get answers to questions they might not want to answer about their relationship with alcohol. [3]
They might not want to give details about their alcohol addiction or alcohol use, so don’t push your loved one to do this. Simply respect they are trying to reduce or cut their alcohol consumption.
If they need a detox at home, they might need help remembering to take medications that ease withdrawal symptoms and any alcohol cravings.
You might want to suggest getting family therapy together if you are having significant issues coping with their recovery.
Shaming or lowering your loved one’s self-esteem will not help their recovery journey.
Remember that alcoholism is a disease that is out of their control, so it is important not to pass judgment onto your loved one.
Making vocal judgements on the drinking habits of someone you love will only harm their mental health and emotions, which is likely to result in a risk of them turning back to start drinking again.
Your loved one’s mental health or any previous mental health issues and mental disorders might be exacerbated by their reduction of alcohol consumption, so try not to take their mood personally. [4]
Enabling someone who has had an addiction means that you and your behaviour allow them to continue drinking.
This might mean making excuses for your loved one’s drinking or constantly bailing them out of bad situations.
It can be difficult to provide your loved one with tough love, but this will be most beneficial to them.
Your loved one also needs to be responsible for their sobriety which means learning to be self-sufficient. If you take on the responsibilities of your loved one, they will never be self-sufficient in their recovery.
You are not accountable for your loved one’s recovery. While you should be supportive of their recovery, you are by no means responsible for them quitting alcohol and staying on track.
Your loved one needs to take responsibility for their alcohol use, so you should set boundaries to clarify this. This might involve reading about codependent relationships and how to avoid them.
Make sure you support yourself as well as supporting your loved one. You can join support groups or forums for others who are in a similar position to you.
While Alcoholics Anonymous support meetings can be helpful for your loved one, Al-Anon Family Groups can be a great lifeline for families who have been affected by someone else’s drinking. [5]
Allowing yourself to prioritise yourself gives your loved one the room to grow through in their recovery journey.
An important part of helping someone you love in their recovery is to create an alcohol-free environment.
When your loved one is quitting alcohol, it can help them remain sober if there are no temptations around the house that could be a potential trigger for them that lead to relapse.
You should also try to make a commitment that you won’t drink around them for at least a certain period of time.
Instead, you can join them with a non-alcoholic drink, you could plan sober activities with them or focus on family life. There are plenty of alcohol-free events to do with your newly sober loved one.
Rehab 4 Addiction is here to help you support your loved one who’s quit drinking.
Recovery is an ongoing process, so it can be helpful to have an action plan put in place.
If you’re worried that your loved one has relapsed and is drinking again, there is also plenty of help out there. [6]
Call us today at 0800 140 4690 for any confidential advice on how to be supportive while someone you love is in recovery.
[1] https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health/alcohol-topics/alcohol-facts-and-statistics
[2] https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/alcohol-dependence-prevalence-in-england
[4] https://dsm.psychiatryonline.org/doi/book/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
Boris is our editor-in-chief at Rehab 4 Addiction. Boris is an addiction expert with more than 20 years in the field. His expertise covers a broad of topics relating to addiction, rehab and recovery. Boris is an addiction therapist and assists in the alcohol detox and rehab process. Boris has been featured on a variety of websites, including the BBC, Verywell Mind and Healthline. You can connect with Boris online at LinkedIn or X.com.
