Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important in Recovery?

Why is Emotional Intelligence Important in Recovery?

We’ve all heard of the term IQ and its ability to measure intellect, but you may be less familiar with the term EQ, or Emotional Intelligence. [1]

While someone with high cognitive intelligence is proficient in learning new concepts and applying them to problems, someone with high EQ knows a lot about themselves, their emotional perception, and has a high sense of empathy.

As you can imagine, someone with a high-scoring IQ and EQ is basically indestructible, cognitively speaking.

The term was popularised and brought into the public sphere by psychologist Daniel Goleman in his bestselling book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”. [2]

He explains that “emotional literacy” and the increased quality of life it leads to can be learnt at any stage in life to optimise mental health.

He then grounds the pretty intangible concept of EQ into 5 key examples:

Empathy: As human beings, one of the most positive emotions we can experience is Empathy, or the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Someone who is empathic can metaphorically step into someone else’s shoes and feel compassion about a situation they haven’t experienced personally. Sharing the emotions of others has been shown to reduce stress levels and improve conflict resolution skills.
Self-Awareness: When challenging emotions arise, understanding why they’re there can radically decrease levels of anxiety. Someone who is self-aware [3] can view their own behavioural patterns, see their limitations and recognise their strengths, meaning they have some pretty intense emotional abilities.
Emotion Regulation: We’ve all been guilty of overreacting emotionally, and while it’s normal to do so from time to time, self-regulation is a great way to balance strong feelings. Learning emotion regulation allows you to think before you act, control feelings of anxiety, manage conflict, and more.
Social Skills: Humans aren’t born to live in isolation, and developing social skills is a surefire way to live a happier, healthier life free fom negative emotions. Someone with strong social skills is adept at working in teams, recognising the needs of others, communicating, and resolving interpersonal conflict.
Motivation: This one can be elusive and for many, dips and troughs in intrinsic motivation is just a part of life. Staying highly motivated allows you to accomplish goals, maintain successful recovery, and continue chasing that all-important self-development.

Now we’ve examined the tenets of Emotional Intelligence, it’s time to examine how it can aid the addiction recovery process. Suffering from Substance Use Disorder [4] is an incredibly emotion-driven affair.

Strong feelings can derail sobriety or enhance it depending on how well you know yourself.

During Addiction, Emotional Intelligence Is At An All Time Low

Addiction to drugs or alcohol isn’t an illness that anyone wants to go through, with many people spiralling out of control in an attempt to deal with, you guessed it, difficult emotions.

Negative emotions can quickly become overwhelming and lead to problematic decision-making and ways of coping that can be self-destructive.

The connection between emotional trauma and addiction has been widely documented [5], as has the link between mental illness and substance misuse. For instance, someone battling Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or suffering from an anxiety disorder is far more likely to turn to substances as a way of coping.

While drugs and alcohol might provide some temporary respite in the form of numbness or a pleasurable high, using substances to self-medicate is an unhealthy coping mechanism, to say the least.

Addiction is a complex disease caused by various factors, but when someone’s emotional intelligence is low, they’re more likely to consume substances rather than get the professional help they need.

Coping with difficult feelings in a way that allows you to live healthily is integral to sustaining sobriety, and is something that many rehab clinics aim to teach patients.

While detox allows you to end a physical dependence, failing to build emotional intelligence will mean that when those difficult emotions return, relapse is inevitable.

The good news is, it’s more than possible to build emotional intelligence and retrain the way you respond to negative feelings. So, how can increased EQ help prevent relapse in the long term?

How Emotional Intelligence Helps With Relapse Prevention

Now that we know more about emotional intelligence, it’s no surprise that those with an enviably high EQ are resilient individuals.

When it comes to staying firmly on the wagon, emotional resilience is one of the most important tools to have: requiring you to rely on yourself and no one else to sustain recovery.

Uncovering how emotional intelligence can help prevent relapse means returning to the idea of substance abuse as a coping mechanism.

Uncomfortable feelings are an inescapable part of life, so even if someone has detoxed successfully [6] and received treatment for a mental illness, they are bound to feel low at some stage.

Distressing emotions like depression, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts are all common examples of internal relapse triggers. Without an emotionally intelligent response to these feelings, individuals are far more likely to reach for their tipple of choice.

While negative emotions are one cause of intrinsic relapse, it’s important to note that positive feelings can also motivate someone in recovery to seek out a substance.

For example, having something to celebrate might lead to self-justifications such as “just one drink won’t hurt, it’s a special occasion after all”.

However, by becoming more emotionally in tune, you can learn new ways to sit with the triggering feelings and let them wash over you.

Rather than reaching for a drink, a pill, or another dose of drugs, you’ll be able to let these negative feelings pass and recognise that they are transient.

Emotional Intelligence logic can also be applied to overcome external relapse triggers [7]. These are environmental situations and events that trigger substance cravings, such as financial concerns, responsibilities, or being around people who are using.

For example, you and a work colleague are nominated for the same promotion and they are awarded it instead of you.

A low EQ response might see you storming out of the office or allowing feelings of low self-esteem to drive you back to substance use. In contrast, a high EQ response would allow you to step back from the situation and realise that your co-worker’s promotion is well-deserved.

This ability to take a step back in certain situations and emotionally regulate is useful if you’re ever tempted to use.

It might be that you’re at a pub with friends (drinking a soft beverage, naturally), and someone is imploring you to join them in a harder drink (“oh go on, just one won’t hurt”).

This person is clearly ignoring the fact that you’re in recovery from a debilitating Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) [8], and doing very well to have attended this social excursion.

Someone with a low EQ might allow themselves to be swayed by the cravings that arise or simply agree to a drink without properly weighing up the consequences.

If you’re rich in EQ, however, you’re more likely to stay true to your core beliefs and imagine how a situation might play out before agreeing to take the drink.

Building Emotional Intelligence Skills

You might be thinking, “this is all well and good, but how can I actually increase my emotional intelligence day-to-day?”. This is where the practical advice comes in, as building EQ is incredibly doable regardless of where you are in your addiction recovery journey.

Using the 5 components of EQ, here are some ways of optimising the process of self-discovery and relapse prevention:

Notice your feelings without judgement: Letting feelings slide past you without reacting to them is a powerful regulation tool, but it can be difficult, too. The best way to practice regulating your emotion is through mindfulness: a state achieved by focusing on the present moment and accepting the sensations you feel. When you feel a difficult emotion arise, try to label it accurately rather than pushing it away. Notice where you feel the emotion: is it your neck, jaw, or chest? From here, you can process the feeling and let it pass.
Analyse your behaviour: Once you’ve become more adept at gaining distance from your emotions, you can start to analyse how your feelings and sensations contribute to your behaviours in recovery. This can be practised in both positive and negative situations; for example, when you do something nice for someone, ask yourself what led you to commit that act of kindness. Similarly, if you behave undesirably, such as starting an argument with a loved one, analyse the feelings and sensations behind this action.
Using the HALT relapse prevention tool [9]: Many useful tools for relapse prevention exist, and one of the most easily utilised is a simple acronym known as HALT: standing for Hunger, Anger, loneliness, and Tiredness. This self-assessment guide helps you gain better control over your emotions by diagnosing an intrinsic need at any given moment. By using HALT, you can assess whether the cravings you’re feeling are down to anger, loneliness, fatigue, or simply hunger. This helps you cultivate the EQ tool of self-awareness needed to fight relapse.
Take the time to listen: Addiction can cause sufferers to act selfishly as they become preoccupied with taking or obtaining a substance, which is why it’s important to practice empathy and learn to reconnect with others. By learning to listen more than you talk in conversations with a friend or family member, you’ll be able to build empathy and cultivate a stronger support network. Practice by simply asking your loved ones questions and asking how they feel about certain things: allowing them to express themselves openly.
Learn self-motivation tools: Another integral part of developing emotional intelligence [10] is finding ways to stay motivated, even in times of ambivalent feelings towards recovery (trust us, it happens and it’s normal!). When learning to self-motivate, it helps to remind yourself of your goals and higher values, which you can use to find your “why”. To access these, simply use a technique called self-affirmation, whereby you spend some time writing a list of your core values and why they matter to you.

How Does Rehab Help People Improve Their Emotional Intelligence?

Many people assume that inpatient rehab is simply about detox or the process of “getting clean”, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

Ending physical dependence is one thing, but the only way to stay sober long-term is by treating someone’s emotional dependence on drugs or alcohol. This is achieved in rehab by building emotional intelligence.

During a residential rehab programme, patients learn how to become emotionally intelligent and use this skill set to develop relapse prevention strategies.

Various styles of therapy are used to help people emotionally regulate, choose what they become emotional about, and control how they behave when negative feelings arise.

This first example is one you’ve probably heard of: the infamous Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) [11]. This communication-based technique helps SUD sufferers realise how their thinking patterns contribute to emotional distress.

These harmful thought patterns are known in the mental health treatment community as cognitive distortions.

Distortions are faulty beliefs we hold about ourselves, the world, or those around us that contributes to emotional suffering and therefore, addiction.

For instance, your significant other takes an hour to message you back and you start to feel anxious, asking internal questions such as “what if they don’t love me anymore?”, or “what if something awful has happened to them?”.

This is an example of multiple cognitive distortions at work: jumping to conclusions, personalisation, and catastrophising.

All these feelings can easily lead to relapse or drive further substance use, which is an outcome the CBT toolkit aims to prevent.

A CBT therapist in your chosen rehab will work with you to challenge these self-destructive beliefs and rewire your emotional response: increasing EQ and decreasing your relapse risk.

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) [12] is an offshoot of CBT used all the time in addiction recovery plans to help patients emotionally regulate.

In fact, there is an entire DBT module dedicated to emotional regulation and intelligence: teaching those in recovery how to manage difficult feelings.

Learning how to emotionally regulate in DBT utilises three goals: to decrease emotional suffering, become less emotionally vulnerable, and understand our emotions.

To achieve these goals, DBT counsellors teach acceptance skills in which feelings are allowed to pass through us without judgement. Workshops emphasise that these feelings are a part of life that we can learn to let go of: a key tenet of EQ.

While many therapies take place one-to-one, addiction treatments such as DBT also lend themselves to group settings: another powerful tool for developing emotional intelligence.

Group therapy sessions provide a beneficial (sometimes daunting) opportunity to receive feedback about your belief systems and thought processes, which will improve self-knowledge.

As well as gaining a better understanding of yourself, group sessions allow participants to improve their empathy and reflective listening skills: both important components of emotional intelligence.

Sessions often involve listening to others tell their recovery story: providing an opportunity to listen and put yourself into their shoes.

Group members can also share and receive support in these times.

Speaking of motivation levels, strengthening EQ for addiction recovery would be remiss without mentioning Motivational Enhancement Therapy (MET) and the role it plays in rehab.

Motivation is perhaps the most elusive element of emotional intelligence, and it can leave people going through recovery when they need it most.

To help patients rekindle motivation and give them the tools to sustain it, most rehab clinics offer some kind of Motivational Enhancement Therapy or Motivational Interviewing.

During each of the 5 sessions, a therapist collaborates with the patient to help them remember why sobriety matters to them. This often involves connecting sobriety to the person’s highest values, such as honesty or kindness.

Holistic Therapy (HT) [13] is another treatment strategy offered in rehab that offers individuals a way of understanding their internal world. This non-medicinal method sees participants adopt healthy hobbies, creative activities, and meditation practices.

By practising guided meditation, yoga and mindfulness-bad martial arts such as tai chi, patients in rehab can access new levels of self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Breathwork is another HT tool that teaches those in addiction recovery how to cope with stress and avoid relapse through heightened emotional intelligence skills.

Ready To Achieve Emotional Sobriety? Here’s Where to Start

Here at Rehab 4 Addiction, many of us have direct experience of recovery and understand that after getting physically sober, the next step is to become emotionally sober.

If you’re ready to begin your journey towards emotional intelligence and cultivate sustainable sobriety, we urge you to reach out today.

When you call 0800 140 4690 [14], one of our support agents will be ready and waiting to answer any questions you have.

We can connect you with a local treatment provider, help you organise an intervention for a loved one, or provide general advice to help you on your road to recovery.

References

[1] Emotional Intelligence: The Road To Success https://www.google.co.th/books/edition/Emotional_Intelligence/15EFDgAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0

[2] Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ https://www.google.co.th/books/edition/Emotional_Intelligence/OgXxhmGiRB0C?hl=en&gbpv=0

[3] Rehab 4 Addiction: The Role of Identity in Addiction Recovery https://www.rehab4addiction.co.uk/blog/role-identity-addiction-recovery

[4] Ending Discrimination Against People with Mental and Substance Use Disorders, The Evidence for Stigma Change https://www.google.co.th/books/edition/Ending_Discrimination_Against_People_wit/j6PKDAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0

[5] Examining the Relationship Between Trauma and Addiction https://www.google.co.th/books/edition/Examining_the_Relationship_between_Traum/GmxQDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0

[6] Rehab 4 Addiction: Aftercare After Detox https://www.rehab4addiction.co.uk/alcohol-detox/aftercare-after-detox

[7] Avoiding Relapse: A Practical Guide to Red Flags, Triggers, and Prevention https://www.google.co.th/books/edition/Avoiding_Relapse/w-JazwEACAAJ?hl=en

[8] Alcohol: Neurobiology of Addiction https://www.google.co.th/books/edition/Alcohol/meT7DwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0

[9] SMART Recovery Toolbox https://www.smartrecovery.org/smart-recovery-toolbox/

[10] The EQ Difference, A Powerful Plan for Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work https://www.google.co.th/books/edition/The_EQ_Difference/FAuGoxtNQEMC?hl=en&gbpv=0

[11] Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) For Addiction https://www.rehab4addiction.co.uk/addiction-treatment/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-addiction

[12] The Oxford Handbook of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy https://www.google.co.uk/books/edition/The_Oxford_Handbook_of_Dialectical_Behav/PE5yDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0

[13] Healing and Wholeness: Complementary and Alternative Therapies for Mental Health https://www.google.co.uk/books/edition/Healing_and_Wholeness/XM_CWVYE_KEC?hl=en&gbpv=0

[14] Rehab 4 Addiction: Contact Us https://www.rehab4addiction.co.uk/contact-us

Boris MacKey

Boris is our editor-in-chief at Rehab 4 Addiction. Boris is an addiction expert with more than 20 years in the field. His expertise covers a broad of topics relating to addiction, rehab and recovery. Boris is an addiction therapist and assists in the alcohol detox and rehab process. Boris has been featured on a variety of websites, including the BBC, Verywell Mind and Healthline. You can connect with Boris online at LinkedIn or X.com.