Recovery from drug use or alcohol addiction is a process, and it can be difficult to know when you should start dating again in recovery.
During initial recovery, it’s important to give yourself time to heal, accept support and reflect on your health and well-being.
Recovery is often associated with the process of re-establishing your identity that you might have lost during alcohol or drug addiction.
So when is it okay to start dating again in recovery?
The answer isn’t a simple one, with everyone’s recovery being a personal journey. Learning to feel positive emotions again, like love, can be one of the most challenging aspects of the recovery journey.
Dating again in recovery can be dangerous and a risk to your sobriety if you try too early.
People in recovery who enter into a romantic relationship too early when they’re not in the complete right frame of mind can increase the risk of you going through a relapse.
There are many things to constantly think of during the early stage of recovery, and so returning to dating can take the focus off of trying to recover.
Generally, recovering alcoholics or substance use disorder users tend to return to previous unhealthy relationships that they were with when they were still using. This, then, puts them in great danger of being around old triggers and can increase the risk of relapse. [1]
You tend to be in a much more fragile mental health state, so this can increase the risk of going into an unhealthy codependent relationship. [2]
For others in recovery, having a new relationship can lead to stress and anxiety, which could trigger a relapse and return to drinking alcohol or substance use.
Even if you want to get back into dating, you should make sure you’re ready to commit yourself to another person as well as prioritising the recovery process.
Below are some signs that it might be too early for you to start dating again in recovery.
This might mean it’s best to wait a little longer before you start dating again in recovery.
Below are some tips for feeling good and having a successful relationship during the stages of recovery.
If you have already started dating while in recovery and feel like the relationship is beginning to affect your sobriety, then it’s important to address these issues immediately.
If you are getting into conflict, or your past traumas are resurfacing, then seek help from a health professional. [4]
It’s important to seek help for these issues and re-evaluate if the relationship is healthy or if dating is a good idea. This way you’ll keep your recovery on track. [5]
Typically a first date might be going for a drink or something that involves alcohol. However, there are many ideas for a first date or future dates that don’t involve alcohol and have an alcohol-free environment.
Some examples could be:
Honesty is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and is even more crucial when you’re in recovery. This is so you are not tempted to go back to old habits.
Being honest with your partner is the best way to grow a healthy relationship and stay clean in the process.
You should be completely honest with how you’re feeling and what boundaries you need in a relationship to help you avoid triggers and a potential slip into a relapse.
When we start the dating game again, we often forget about other parts of our lives due to the excitement.
However, when you’re in recovery, it’s essential to keep connected to your support network and recovery community. This could be 12-step meetings, Alcoholics Anonymous AA meetings, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, individual therapy, group therapy, other therapy sessions, couples therapy, friends and family.
It is crucial not to put too much on your partner so make sure to stay connected to your recovery support system. Otherwise, this can increase the risk for relapse and can threaten months of sobriety.
Recovery is an ongoing process, so you need to remain dedicated to all the phases of addiction recovery for long-term sobriety. [6]
With most things in life, it’s never a good idea to rush into anything if you’re not ready. There is no set timeline for when you should start dating again in recovery.
If you don’t feel ready to date again, or you feel that a relationship is moving too fast, it’s fine to say you want to slow down. Always go at your own pace to avoid feeling overly stressed or anxious and going back to unhealthy patterns.
You should also avoid having an unhealthy attachment to your partner by rushing into the relationship too early. [7]
If you require any further advice about your recovery from addiction or for more healthy coping skills, contact Rehab 4 Addiction today at 0800 140 4690.
[1] https://www.aa.org/the-twelve-steps
[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6410387/
[3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553654/
[4] https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm
[5] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27242601/
[6] https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/recovery
[7] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30447514/
Boris is our editor-in-chief at Rehab 4 Addiction. Boris is an addiction expert with more than 20 years in the field. His expertise covers a broad of topics relating to addiction, rehab and recovery. Boris is an addiction therapist and assists in the alcohol detox and rehab process. Boris has been featured on a variety of websites, including the BBC, Verywell Mind and Healthline. You can connect with Boris online at LinkedIn or X.com.
